英語小笑話（必備）
英語小笑話1
A Present 凱特的.禮物
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.
凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?
媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀?
凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。
凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。
英語小笑話2
As the mother of three small children born two years apart, I'm often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories，prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene，they must go to bed and stay there.
One night，after a particularly trying day，all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies，milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people，standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked，"Do we relent or stick with the rules?"
Our three-year-old piped up，”Stick with the rules,Mom. "
Knowing she didn't really want to be sent back to bed,I asked，"And what are the rules，Mellisa?"
"Share with one another,"she replied.
英語小笑話3
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個(gè)座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的.。
英語小笑話4
why is he howling.
他為什么喊
dentist: please stop howling. i haven't even touched your tooth yet.
牙醫(yī)：請你不要再喊了!我還沒碰你的牙呢。
patient: i know, but you are standing on my foot!
病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀!
英語小笑話5
Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個(gè)月有28天呢？
湯姆：每個(gè)月都有啊！
英語小笑話6
Hello everyone!My name is ~~.Now,I am 12 years old. I am from ~~.I am a student in NO.1middle school .I like football with my sister after school .I am good at drawing.And i am likelearning English.Ican speak very well!
Do you want to make friend with me ?
譯文
大家好!我的名字是~ ~.現(xiàn)在,我12歲了.我來自~ ~.我就讀于第一中學(xué).我喜歡踢足球和我姐姐在放學(xué)后.我擅長于畫畫.我喜歡學(xué)習(xí)英語. 我能講英語講得很好!
你想和我交朋友吧?
英語小笑話7
小妹妹
Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnnie?
保育員：約翰尼，你難道不喜歡你的小妹妹嗎?
Johnnie: She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.
約翰尼：那倒不是。她要是個(gè)男孩就好了。威利有了一個(gè)新生的小妹妹，現(xiàn)在他該認(rèn)為我又在學(xué)他的'樣子了。
英語小笑話8
Walking to work one day, my husband was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized，adding; "You certainly are lucky. We're right next to a doctor's office."
"I don't know how lucky that is ,"my husband replied."I' m the doctor. "
英語小笑話9
A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”
Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "
We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.
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