職場HR的毒舌英語語錄
都說HR毒舌，能憑借三言兩語就將你擊潰，你領(lǐng)教過職場HR的毒舌么?來看看吧!
Sick Days
關(guān)于病假
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
我們不再需要醫(yī)生出具的病歷證明。如果你能夠去看醫(yī)生，你也能來工作。
Holiday Days
關(guān)于休假
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
每個員工每年都會有104天的個人時間——它們就是周六和周日。
Lunch Break
午餐
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
1.瘦削的人花30分鐘吃午餐，為了看起來健康，他們要吃很多。
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
2.正常體型的人花15分鐘吃午餐，為了保持體形，他們吃均衡的食物。
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
3.豐滿的人花5分鐘吃午餐，因為隨時都要喝快速瘦身飲料。
Compassionate Leave
關(guān)于喪假
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
不工作是沒有任何借口的。你并不能為你死去的朋友、親人或同事們干些什么。應當努力確保沒有員工參與追悼會的安排。極少數(shù)情況下當員工的參加是必須時，追悼會要安排在下午的晚些時候;我們很高興地允許你午餐時間一直工作，然后提前一小時下班去參加追悼會。
Dress Code
關(guān)于穿著
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
1.建議你工作時穿著要和你的薪水相匹配。如果我們看到你穿著普拉達的鞋子和提著古琦的包包，我們會認為你財務狀況很好，因而不需要加薪。
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
2.如果你穿得很寒磣，你需要學習更好地管理你的錢財，那樣你可以買更好的衣服，因此你也無需加薪。
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3.如果你穿得很適合，這正適合你的身份，因此你也不需要加薪。
Toilet Use
如廁
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
1.很多的時間被消耗在廁所里。現(xiàn)在一個精確的3分鐘限制裝置安裝在洗手間里。
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2.三分鐘過后，警報器會響起，廁紙卷會反應，洗手間的門會打開，你會被拍照。
3. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
3.違規(guī)二次后，你的相片將會被貼在公司公告欄的“如廁違反者”目錄下。
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.
4.任何在相片中面帶笑容的人將會根據(jù)公司的身體健康政策進行處罰。
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